1:00 am - During this long week end I worked on my proposal under supervision of my friend. I wrote parts, he read it, gave me comment and the loop was going on. now I can say a first draft is ready, I have 2 more days to work on it and Thursday I deliver it to my prof, he is not expecting this though but I want to get read of it, have time to study and wait for his comments.

I prepared the half of my proposal (first draft) under supervision of my friend. I really am stressed about the proposal defense, lack of knowledge that I have, what should I do?

7:00 pm- I didn't work yesterday although I was here, new phd students were here, we had some changes for the office and I was looking for an excuse!
today was better, though I wasted time, I was thinking about my proposal format, the objectives and son on, much difficult than what I was thinking, I prepared some pages, read a paper and should work more. I want to give the first draft next Thursday, still no comment from previous chapters, I am not sure if I have gone the right way or not. I hope tomorrow I work better. am going to my bro place for eftar

10:30 am - I worked around 6 hours yesterday, including the discussion with my friend. so, I re-arranged the entire chapter once more, add some parts, eliminate some others. now I want to give it a final read before sending it to my adviser which has put 10-12 papers on my desk during week end :( I have a meeting at 3 pm, they I will be off till tomorrow :D I should start studying plus writing my proposal. only 2 more months

3:20 pm - I just had my meeting. I worked on my chapter,and gave it to him, he took a look and said it seemed good. next meeting is 9 of sep, I want to finish my proposal till that time and discuss it with him, during the meeting he mentioned something about the problem and tools that I am using which were new to me, I got a bit nervous as he mentioned they may ask such things in my proposal defense, it is better I add some notes about it. I should work very hard in coming week to have a well developed proposal, otherwise I should say goodbye :)

4:00 am- at last I finished the chapters. well, it still have some minor changes to be done, maybe around 2-3 hours, but that's cool. actually I finished it 2 days ago, then i sent it to a friend of mine who does his postdoc, last night he called and talked about 2 hours! to say politely that they are not very well written. so today I had a look at all the chapters, then merged the last two ones, and changed the format, add some parts, delete others and it is now finished. I feel relief!
tomorrow I have guests for iftar, if I find time I would like to work on my proposal which is the only left part. Sunday I will go through the last written chapter again, to finalized it. Monday I have a meeting with my adviser and I guess after that I will be back to normal life, writing proposal and studying, I will update here daily then :)

I am still struggling with these two chapters, that's why I am not writing, I am stuck and it doesn't go further, I hate this situation. I should deliver it to my prof on Monday, then I will start a new life! including writing the final proposal and studying for the exam, I really hope I can finish this part till Friday.

2:00 am- I didn't write for few days as I wasn't productive at all. I was mad at myself, I have one week for the third deadline (two chapters), I just finished one chapter, maybe I look at it once more during the week but for now it is finished. tomorrow I am gonna start the second one, I also need to work on my proposal this week and start studying for the exam soon.

11:00 am- Friday, Saturday and Sunday I did absolutely nothing. I was thinking to start a very good Monday, I am so disappointed, worked for around 1 hour. I don't know what is wrong with me, I am going to start now, I have been here since 9:30!

5:00 pm- I worked for 2~3 hours I guess :( I am going home, maybe continue working from there

3:00 pm- the meeting was not bad, bad news is that I have my exam in mid October, in two months, and I didn't have studied yet, although he said u have 2 weeks during exam to find out about things u didn't study, meaning the questions could be non-related to my studies. good news, he said he will give the comments of my chapters in 2 weeks, a great part of it, and so far he thinks this is good, happy about that and waiting for loads of comments. I should work on two left chapters and start studying, I feel dizzy. I was reading a thesis to get some idea from morning.

4:30 pm- well I worked for about 4 hours, but don't feel that I have progress, I was trying to do some simulation for tomorrow's meeting and I am still trying, I am not sure if I can make it, I should leave in 1~1h30 as my aunt is coming to my bro house, she is leaving on Saturday and this is the last party! the meeting is at 2 pm tomorrow and then my prof will go away for conference and vacation! yoohoo (well it is only for 10 days) it means I wont have meeting for 2 weeks!

2:00 am- I worked till 5h30, reading some thesis and papers, actually taking a look, to see if I can find any data related to the last 2 chapters, then I came home, changed and went to my bro place to see my aunt, was there till around 12, came home and a friend of mine called, i had asked him some question regard my proposal (how/what should I write), then I talked with him for about 1h30, explaining about my project, but it was good, things are a bit more clear now. oh, I wish tomorrow will be a good day, I mean the meeting

I have been unbelievable in last few days, a total ^$%@$^@#@%^, I absolutely did nothing, I was so so down, not even in the mood of talking, being harsh on everyone around me. I feel better now, today I was home all day and did nothing, either sitting on the chair checking internet with no enthusiasm or sleeping, I hope tomorrow I be back to my normal mood

1:00 pm- I didn't write last few days here, finally I finished chapter 3 and 4 last night and sent it to my prof,it was not exactly what I wanted, some parts were still missing and I decided to eliminate them from these chapters and bring them back in final chapter, so I have more time to improve the text! today I am not sure if I do something or not, came late and want to go home soon, anyway I try to work a bit. and the last but not least "cheshmetun roshan" :)

9:45 am- last night I didn't work when I got home, did some cooking, and cleaning for Friday night guests, thinking about what to cook and I have to do shopping this afternoon and maybe some cooking! anyway I am going to read some papers maybe I find something to discuss with my prof, the meeting is at 1, but I rather to finish it soon and work on my chapters

1:20 pm- I cam from the meeting, the paper that I read was good for my work, really on-time, we discussed about it and that was fine, I also worked on chapters, adding some parts, creating some tables, I am going for lunch and continue after

11:50 pm- I was at school till around 5. prepared some table for the chapters, worked on subtitle, but then I had to leave, went for shopping, came home, did some cooking (khoresht gheyme+ desert+ preparation the inexpedience of salads which I will do the final part tomorrow), then I cleaned the fridge as something had leaked there and it was a mess, then I took a shower and it is now! no work since 5 :( I am going to school tomorrow, early hopefully and will come home soon around 3 maybe to get ready for the night, my aunt will stay at my place Saturday too, so I already missed 2 days, but I told myself that is ok, maybe I could finish it on Monday or Tuesday and as my prof has not yet read the previous one, it is not a big deal

9:50 am - new day! I didn't stay up last night :)

12:15 pm- going for lunch, I wasted around 45 min on the phone and in the net and worked the rest. I am a bit angry, it seems the guys in the office are making fun of us (me and the other Iranian guy) saying that we spend all the time in the office, that i come from morning to night and what are we doing and why are we so stressed about the exam and they have all passed their exams easily without working so hard and blah blah....

1:30 pm - back to work without motivation

4:30 pm- I am in a bad mood today, my mom called and we talked, then another friend from Iran and we talked, edited around 11 pages since this morning. maybe around 6 pages should be edited, I need to add some tables and notes. when this is finish I should re-read and edit them again, I want to cry, actually i did and couldn't concentrate. I will go home late, my aunt in coming to my place Friday night meaning I have 6 guests, and she sleeps over, I should send my chapters till Sunday night, I am getting crazy

5:30 pm- went for a coffee break, and now am back
8:45 pm- well I almost finished the written parts, only 2-3 small parts, maybe around 1-2 pages, but I still have to edit some parts, and I guess I need to rearrange some subtitles, and maybe gather some information in tables instead of writing them. it seems less but I am sure it take all of my time and I hope to finish it on time, tomorrow again I have a meeting and have nothing to talk about with him, I don't know why he doesn't let me write when I am supposed! I am going home as am hungry and there is nothing here to eat, but will work from home :(

10:00 am - start working
1:30 pm - back from lunch, I worked for 2 hours, I have to finish something today, otherwise things become difficult

7:00 pm - I came to a cafe near school. I didn't want to go home, I should work, I will stay here late, I should finish something today"!

11:00 pm- I am going home in few min, what did I do? I worked abit, read my gooder, checked my facebook, talk with a friend of mine for 1h15 min on the phone, really proud of myself, I was thinking to stay up a little tonight, but am not sure if I can. maryam joon, you are useless, really.

9:45 am- what a week :(

12:45 pm- going work lunch. I worked for 2 hours

1:45 pm - back to work

8:00 pm - I don't know how much I worked (hours) but there are only 7 pages left from chapter 3 to be reviewed and maybe 3 more pages to be added. I edited around 20 pages, I like to go for a walk, and I have something to eat so no cooking, I really like to finish editing today, but lets see. I have chapter 4 then, around 20 pages to be edited and maybe 5-7 pages to be added and I have time till next Sunday, is that enough?

12:00 am- I just edited half of the left pages (7/2=3.5!) now I become nervous as I don't know if I have covered everything or not, I am not sure if this chapter is what he wants or not, god please help me.

5:15 pm - yesterday and today, till now I worked for about 4 hours. I should do cooking, cleaning and some other stuff, if I finish on time and not tired, will work more

11:00 am - morning!

12:45 pm- worked for about 1h30, going for lunch in few min. BTW, champion, how was the game ?

2:00 pm - back to work

4:00 pm- worked for about 1h30, I feel I am very slow

7:00 pm - I am done for today, worked for about 2h30- total ~ 5h30, still lot more to do :( wish I could finish on time

2:00 pm- I worked for ~1h30 hours, then went for lunch around 12h15, the potluck one, now am back and feel so sleepy!

4:15 pm- I worked for maybe 1h30 min, I am so tired though, have no idea why, I couldn't seat, want to sleep but I should be here till late afternoon

7:30 pm - I worked for about 2h30, totally around 5 hours and I don't feel i had progress at all, I am tired and leaving now

10:00 am - morning :)

12:30 pm- I am going for lunch. worked about 1:30 hour. I should leave early today as my aunt called, i will join her for a coffee, it means i should leave at 4:30, but I should work after that, otherwise I will kill myself

1:40 pm- back to work

4:35 pm- I am leaving to see my Aunt, I barely worked for 2 hours. what am I doing?!! I would like to say I study after that, but do u see that in me?!!!!! beside tomorrow we have a potluck at department, I have to cook something too. but if I work like this I wont finish my work before the deadline which is end of July

11:30 am - I wasn't in the mood this morning, came late. my index finger was fine when i got up this morning, but working abit with mouse, and it is painful again :( I see the inflammation(?)on my hand back.

12:45 pm- I worked a bit, I am going for lunch though I am not hungry, hope to work better after lunch.

1:30 pm- back to work

5:00 pm- I worked for about 2~3 hours which is not good, I don't feel comfortable here and I don't know why, wanna go home :( I have 10~12 days to my deadline and haven't done anything useful in last few days. lets see if I can work from home

9:15 am - Morning :) I have a meeting with my prof at 2, like past meetings I don't have anything to discuss, I spend my time on writing, really don't have time for anything else.
12:00 pm- I re-read the paper, I am not very good in math, but it seems there are some problems in the equations, I am going to check it with my prof, I go for lunch in few min and would be back to work after that till 2

3:00 pm- the meeting is over, it was not bad, it seemed the paper have some problems I should check with the writer. I have a painful finger, I couldn't type easily or click by the mouse, am gonna take a coffee and continue writing

4:30 pm - I haven't done much, I really have pain in my finger, couldn't move it, I am thinking about going home

11:30 am- this is the Friday, it is a late day, lets see how long it goes
6:00 pm- I worked like 4 hours, not good, but I finished a difficult part in one chapter and I am relieved for the moment! I am going home, have guests tomorrow night but I wanna plan to study too, have a meeting on monday, need to read some papers for discussion, if I did that then I will go back to my chapters. 15 more days to deadline :)

10:15 am - new day! but the same life :|
12:30 pm - not a bad day since now, I start re-reading and editing what I wrote before, to see how much more is left. will go for lunch in few min.
1:15 pm - back to work
6:00 pm- well, something between yesterday and the day before yesterday. I went through the whole 2 chapters, the are some untouched parts, did all the figures and tables, edited the first 10 pages,. but still alot to do, 30 more pages to be edited, I think some parts should be eliminated and maybe 10-15 pages should be added. The deadline is the end of July, I have 2 more weeks and I think I can do it, the only problem is about other stuff, like finding the data for my simulation and do some works. hope I can manage them in 2 weeks, if I do so, that would be a big big relief. I am leaving now to see a friend, Mirzapeakovesky!, if I get home early I will work more.

11 am - I am starting very late today, I have been at school for two hours now~

1:00 pm - back from lunch
2:15 pm - I have done nothing since last update!
6:30 pm- today was a catastrophe! I worked maybe for 2 hours, I will be here for 1-1h30 more, hope to work!
8:15 pm - I am leaving, looking for something like how to write proposal, pass the comprehensive exam for dummies! I hate myself

9:45 am - morning there :)

1:10 pm - back from lunch, the morning was not bad :)

5:00 pm - I worked while goodering and facebooking! till 3:45, then went to the office of a friend to surprise him for his BDay. am now back to work!

7:45 pm - I am going home, that was a normal day, working between 5-6 hours, but not enough :(

9:45 am- I worked for about 4-5 hours during week end. I have a lot to do, am going to start. I am sick, I got cold in this f$##%#% heat, I can not breath easily and it sucks.

1:30 pm - am back from lunch, starting again.

5:15 pm- I worked so-so, I am not satisfied, but that was not very bad. I feel tired abit, I need to rest to get free of this cold, may go home and work later today.

10:30 pm- well I came home, did some cooking, had a light dinner and felt sleep for about 2 hours! I went out for a walk to avoid more sleep (I hope it was due to pills!), I am still tired, I have runny nose and eyes and want to sleep now. I didn't work, I hate writing and studying at the same time, I am just writing now and time flies... how can I finish all these? I heard five more students were forced to drop the PhD cause they either didn't pass the exam or proposal defense. I am so nervous, it seems they were all Iranian.

4:30 pm- I came back to school yesterday. the trip to Toronto was fine, the wedding was good I just got tired, I was back Monday night, the weather is hot and I spent the whole afternoon till late night with a friend of fine who had come from Toronto yesterday, yesterday I just went through my stuff, my prof had sent me 6-10 papers and few CD of the past conferences, my next deadline is the end of July, 2 chapters, today I came late, I can say I did nothing (only one page from a paper was read), watched football and now want to go home to clean it after 2 weeks!Tomorrow I have a meeting and nothing to propose, I am back to my abnormal style again.

10:00 am- last night I worked for around an hour, the same today. now I am going to school to continue. what a good weather, good holiday and I should stay in my office who doesn't have a window!

12:45 pm- I got here around 11 am. I have finished almost half of it and I am a bit happy, though I have some references to add to Endnote. I am gonna take a break and continue, the only positive point is the second half has less correction.

4:30 pm - I finished the other half. now I have to go through references format and do some modifications. they are still some parts that I am not satisfied with and should change it abit. I know it will be back with lot of comments as it is my prof habit, but I want to do as best as I can. I will take a break.

9:30 pm - I am not done yet, though I finished the references and need to find 4-5 of them (original) or I should pull them out from my writings. I am going home to eat something and pack my baggage for tomorrow, take a shower and work on my proposal chapters. I am not sure if I can sleep tonight or not, I hope I can stay up, maybe first I finish this and then got for my baggage.

11:00 am - I worked a bit last night, not much to mention! I am going to start, I was at school around 9:30 and I have not started yet! shame on me.

11:45 am - I am pissed off. I start reviewing again and I saw my prof note on my TOC telling me to add some stuff which I completely forgot about that. Shit, now I should add more pages, it takes time and I have so many unfinished parts. I am angry of myself.

1:45 pm- I started from beginning, usually when I have different things to do I become useless. so, decided to start from beginning and go as much as I can today, if it finished that is so cool, if not, tomorrow. jumping from one part to another wont help. I had my lunch, have a coffee now and will start in few min.

8:00 pm- I almost finished all the writing parts. though I didn't work like a normal person, if I did I would have finished the whole story! anyway I still have a lot to correct and add references and other small details which I have no idea if I can do it in one day (well I am sure if I work like today it wont be finished). I am going home to eat something and work there. tomorrow is holiday but I am coming to school, I am going to Toronto on Friday to join a wedding ceremony and will be back on Monday, so I have to finish it before leaving and sending that to my prof.

10:15 am - I am about to start. last night when I got home I was too tired to work, so I just slept! today I really like to finish it. I am still in the mood of vacation!

4:15 pm- I worked and had lunch. still lot more to go, I have 10 pages to be edited, 1 page to be written, missing references to be added, and one more total review for sentences, references or parts that need more work! am I close to finishing?!

7:15 pm - did I say 1 page of writing? well I was wrong, I wrote about 4 pages and still 2 more to go. I want to finish all the writings, then going through it again, I like to do it tonight, but lets see. I have become so cool after being with my parents, no stress for the coming deadline! this is not me!!!!! I am going to see a friend who had her comprehensive exam 20 days ago and she failed :( she couldn't go for it again and they told her she may be able to transfer it to a master with condition. it makes me worried about my exam in 3 months. if I can stay awake after that I will continue working.

11:15 am- my parents left yesterday :( now I am back to routine! I was so tired I couldn't get up early, came here and hour ago and want to start. I have a deadline this Thursday!

1:15 pm- I worked, not very focus though, I am going to lunch. that was not a good start at all, I work as I have plenty of time, after lunch I will be more focus, promise.

6:30 pm - I went through 20 pages and they are almost finish, just need to add 2-3 references. it remains around 30 more pages to go through. I should also write one more page, I am leaving, going to my bro place for dinner (the are still some guests around) but I want to go home early and work for few hours. I want to finish it as soon as possible.

2:00 pm- I was with our guests all last days, have done nothing. Today is a national holiday here, I have few hours to study now, I hope to finish something, we will go to Ottawa tomorrow and my parents leave on Sunday, I will be back to normal life from Monday morning :(

Almost 3 pm- I came to Ecole this morning, have a meeting at 4 and wasted my time since this morning, reading 2 papers that my prof sent me last week, I think it was better I work on my chapters which should be finished by next week! I was in Quebec city from Friday to Sunday with family, doing nothing related to my work. after my meeting I should go and pick up my parents, some small shopping, going home, making dinner + tomorrow lunch, some cleaning, packing my stuff as the guests come tomorrow morning and I am going to my bro place cause there is no more place in my app. I cross my finger that I could work till end of the week, my parents leave on Sunday, I don't want to be attacked by stresses as my parents leave :(

11:30 pm- I went to school today from morning till afternoon. I worked for few hours, don't know it exactly but it wasn't very productive, though I finished a part, tomorrow morning(noon) we are leaving for Quebec city and will be back on Sunday. I wanted to finish another part before leaving, tonight the family came here for dinner so I didn't have a chance to work after school, only if I can get up early tomorrow. yesterday I took my mom out for shopping, from morning till late afternoon, so no work! if I could finish the first revision by the end of week end that would be perfect. I take my stuff with myself, hope I can use my spare time.

12:45 pm - I really don't know what to say. since my parents came I just worked for two days. it is not them actually, it is the guests they are inviting to our place from every where. three of us, me, my bro and his wife, have done nothing but shopping, cooking, washing, cleaning and the worse is coming. my in law's mother is coming this Tuesday, my dad has invited his cousin and his wife over to my place, they are coming on Tuesday too, I should leave my place for them :( my uncle and cousin are here, my aunt and her husband too, we had guests last night, we have tonight, the other cousin has called from Iran that he is getting his visa and he is coming in 10 days, I am sure my Prof will send me home soon, I have a deadline for end of June, and I am not even closed. I am so pissed off. I have been at school since morning, I am editing my writings but not fast enough. going for lunch and wish I could work more before going home around 4 :(

4:30 pm- I am going home, I don't know how much I worked but have lot more to do. really I have no idea when. I don't want going home, they have called me 2 times, we have 7 guests and we are 5, in a one bedroom appt, and everything is formal. the worse part is that we have to handle our disgusting cousin which we all hate. maybe one day I tell the story...

11:45 am- I am not sure if I should write when my parents are here. I really try to work but I cant. yesterday was gone completely, I went for shopping, then coming home, washing dishes, preparing dinner, washing dishes again, going home at 11:00 pm, missing the bust and walking for 40 min. this morning I got up early, took a shower, made my place tidy, came to my bro place for helping as we have guests for lunch...

5:50 pm _ I was writing the previous part and I had to do something and forgot about publishing it. we had guests today for lunch, my dad cousin+ his wife and child. They left an hour ago, we are all dead tired. I don't know what to do, either we have guests or if I have time to work I am too tired. in last week I left home everyday at around 7:30, went with parents or went to school, came to my bro place in the afternoon, staying there till 11-11:30 pm, coming home, sleeping like a dead body. and the worse is coming, new brand! guests for next two weeks, all grown ups and adults, so the formal parties, pooooooffffff, how can I work? :(

5:15 pm- not a productive day again. I was with my parents till noon, I cam to school after and prepared my documents for meeting which was fine. then I spent like an hour looking through my prof documents to find some of papers which I am interested in, no success. I am going back home, my parents have been home alone for last 2 hours :) maybe I can work tonight? I hope.

10:00 am - I was supposed to come early but I couldn't woke up. I should go home around 2-2:30 pm, so am not sure how much I can work. we have guests tonight and tomorrow night, I have a meeting with my prof tomorrow.

11:30 pm - well I had the chance to work for about 2 hours today! the guests arrived in the afternoon and I got home few min ago. the good point is I prepared something for my prof so wont be empty handed for tomorrow's meeting. in the morning I will be with my parents, at home, and go to school at noon as they are going out with the guests. so hope I can work all afternoon. the second round for guests will be Friday noon!

5:45 pm- I got home 45 min ago, I was out with my mom from morning, now I want to work a bit if I can :)

12:30 pm- well it was not easy to work and I did not. maybe a little, then my mom wanted something, then my dad, then I helped for making dinner, then washing, anyway having 5 grown ups in a small place, no concentration! the only positive point was that I discussed my proposal with my dad for about an hour, got some idea and it was good. tomorrow we have some guests from Ottawa, they come around 4-4:30 and will start the night, I am going to school in the morning (early hopefully) and then my brother place around 2-3 pm, wish I could work tomorrow.

9:45 am- I am at school, ready to start.

1:30 pm- I worked till 12:45 pm, wasting around 40 min. I had lunch and am back to office. will start in few min

5:00 pm - I started at 2, worked till now, well I am not sure how much time I wasted, but guess not much. I am going to my bro house, my parents are out with my bro, they will be home around 9 maybe. so I will work at home till they arrive.

6:40 pm- I am going to start working again

I worked till around 9 but not continuously as I was preparing dinner, talking on the phone and with my in-law, helping her. generally I was ok with my day.

10:50 pm- Today I I worked for around 2 hours, but not very focus. working at home with my parents and in-law, TV, telephone and chats. anyway better than nothing!

10:05 am - well I am spending time with family and have not worked at all. maybe about an hour for Thursday afternoon and whole Friday. This morning I got up early, my parents are coming here tonight, I cleaned the house and am working now for about 40 min :( we are going out in few min and will be back in the afternoon, I am not sure if I can stay up late tonight to work, tomorrow is completely gone, Monday I will go to school, if only I have a bit more energy I could work for 2-3 hours at night, cause my parents sleep around 10 because of jet-lag, last two night I was too tired and I slept at 11-11:30, maybe tonight I can stay up.

11:35 pm- well today I ruined my time. I worked on my writings only for 2 hours and I wasted 2 hours before I go to the airport at 3pm. my parents are here(my bro place) and I came to my place just 30 min ago, I was thinking about working for at least an hour before sleeping, but I don't know, I feel so tired. but I know I wont have time to work till Monday.

12:45 pm - I got here around 10:30, I had to tax forms(I know I am late), it is done now. I wrote my yesterday meeting report, edited of TOC and changed some parts, added the time schedule and sent it to my prof. I had like 20 min wasting in between, talking on the phone and checking my email. may parent are coming tomorrow, yay :D . I wont be able to come here and work everyday which makes me nervous, we dont want to let the parents home alone, so will divide the week days between three of us, so one is always with them and the other two can work. Friday till Sunday we are all off, it is only three weeks and I don't know when will be the next time that I see them.

2:15 pm- I worked a bit then went for lunch. now I am back to work again

4:30 pm- I wrote few parts, so far it is fine, if I had the whole month that would be ok but with few days I am not sure. I should use my spare time better. maryam, yo can.
by the way I wasted about half an hour gooder/on the phone/ explaining something to my colleague.

6:45 pm- I worked for about 1h30. I am leaving office to have dinner, will be back. still more to go!

10:35 pm - well I worked for about 2 hours. I am tired and going home. well I have to clean my place, wash the bathroom and kitchen, take shower and sleep!

1:15 pm - read a paper this morning which was diffcult and I have to look at it again. had 2 hour class after, I had my lunch and will meet my prof in 2 hours. I was focucing on writing so I dont have much to tell him.

2:45 pm - I was reading a paper, it is not finished and I am going to see my prof

10:00 am - I am going to start

12:45 pm- I am working on the part related to hydraulic conductivity. I am gathering the info from here and there, papers, books, just copy/past then I will re-write or edit it. though I wasted time, not focusing for long time, but that is ok. if I can finish this part today that would be perfect.I am going for lunch

2:00 pm - back to work

6:30 pm- from last update, so far I worked for around 3 hours. Not good at all, 3 pages are almost finished, I have a meeting tomorrow at 3, I was supposed to read 4 papers and I just printed them. I have a class in the morning. I am leaving now, I will read the papers tonight, lets see.

11:00 pm- well I did not work. I went for a long walk, came home and prepared dinner/tomorrow lunch. I read only one page of a paper, am going to bed with the paper. sick of myself

2:30 pm - I had a busy Friday and Saturday, getting ready for our guests arrival. my parents are coming this Thursday, and I am dying of stress of my works :) I came to school to work for few hours.

6:45 pm - I am going home, I worked but don't know exactly how much. maybe I wasted around one hour.

1:00 pm - I worked for about 1h30 since this morning. I am home and am leaving for hairdressing at 2. I guess it takes 2-3 hours; coloring, cutting and she is very slow. I am gonna to see two friends after, a short visit cause they have some other plans to do, so if nothing happens I will be back at around 7, maryam you don't have time why you don't understand?!

12:35 pm - I had a morning class. I am just back to office, want to have lunch and check my emails,gooder

10:00 pm - Well, I worked on and off today, maybe for 3 hours. not good at all

10:50 am - I have been at school since 9! and I want to start now.
12 pm : I am going to lunch. I worked, not bad
1:15 pm - back to work
3:15 pm - I am reading and writing at the same time. I felt sleepy in between and I took a nap infront of monitor! I am going for a coffee.
6:00 pm - god damn me, really. I got back to work around 4, searched for an article from 1970! found the hard copy, did the scan and print, looked at 2 thesis to see if I can get something from them, that is all. I barely worked 4 hours, I am leaving now, will eat something out and go home. Maryam you have to work, can u undrestand?!

1:30 pm - I had a class from 9 to 12. I had lunch, some phone calls, checking emails,gooder and have not started yet. It seems my time schedule is not very good, in case I may need more time at the end to finalized my proposal and if he gives me major changes for last chapter, I wont have time. so what should I do? I thought to change it like that
Chapter 1,2,3 - first week of July
chapter 4, 5, 6 - first week of august
chapter 7 - end of august
but can I really do that? it means I should write at least 3 pages everyday, the point is in many parts I don't have an idea what to write, I should read, search for that. and I think how come I can finish 3 chapters by first of July when my parents are here from 3-27 June?

3:40 pm - well I corrected the resume which I gave my prof few days ago. I was searching in the documents of his previous phd student (after graduation I took his desk) for finding his proposal and comprehensive exam, I found them and I gave it to my colleague who knows french better than me to see what will we have in few months. I am so nervous and do nothing. hate myself

5:15 pm - I talked with my prof, he accepted the first time schedule. it means for end of June 2 chapters would be good. what is wrong with me? I am just going from this office to that one today, talking with people, thinking about how to write! and read for the exam :( well this is the first day of monthly filan!

5:45 pm- I am going home

11:00 am - I was in office at 9, but have not started yet, we, a bunch of poor peoples who have to work even in long weekend, had coffee and chat. I am going to start

1:15 pm - I worked for like 100 min. I am not satisfied. the only point is the report is finished. the others went out for lunch, I punished myself to stay here :D

2:00 pm - back to work

3:15 pm - only worked for half an hour! ghrrrrrrrrrrrr

5:00 pm - I am fucked up today. I don't know how much I spent studying from last post, I know very little. I may go home, I know it is ok if I get a break today as I worked the weekend, but I am behind, whenever I remember my works and deadlines and my parents being here I panic.

11:45 am - I am at school again. Will start reading the report in few min.

1:45 pm - I had 30 min break and studied the rest. going for lunch

3:15 pm - I have not started yet after lunch! oh gooder you will kill me one day.

6:30 pm - I am done for today. I wasted around 40 min from last post but studied the rest.I am going home. tomorrow is long weekend and I will come to school again :(
total - 3:40 , that is a shame, I was here for 6:30 and only 3:40

11:30 am - As I said I should work this weekend. I am in my bro's office and am going to start :)

12:15 pm - well I prepared the time schedule, I am just a bit more relaxed, here it is, if he accept it thought!
chapter 1 and 2 - End of June (maybe I can finish them sooner, but I need to buy time so I can be more with my parents who will be here in that time)
chapter 3 and 4 - End of July
Chapter 5 and 6 - Third week of August
Chapter 7 - 10 of September
beside that, I should gather the data I want to use for chapter 6, chapter 7 is my proposal and I should do the simulation and have some results for that time!

1:15 pm - I had written a report in fall semester which could be use in my proposal, I copy/paste the related parts and will work on it, add/remove some parts, add more references etc. this mainly cover chapter 1 and 2. I go for lunch

2:15 pm - back to work

3:30 pm - I am still reading. had few cups of tea, some chats with my bro, few min chat with a friend on skype....will take a break for 10 min

5:50 pm - I read a part of document, found some papers that may be useful and had 15-20 min of break. I am leaving now, that was much better than yesterday. I don't know if I work more today or not.

12:00 pm - I had my blood test today, so got here abit late around 10-10:15. I wrote the meeting report, send the list of refrences to my Prof and nothing else! just wasting time in gooder. I think I will start after lunch. it is a long week end here, I have no plan, and I should work really to have some progress before my parents come. my next meeting is first of june.

1:00-2:30 pm - reading the report-document. had 45 min phone call, 4-5 min chating with my friend and few min I took a nap! I left the office, the cooling fan is not working, and no more oxygen is left there, that was the reason I felt asleep. I am in labo

4:00 pm - ok! I am not sure what is wrong with me, but exactly after each meeting with my prof I stop working!!!!! I did nothing in last 1h30 - still tired, I think I have fever too, I am going home, but will work in weekend.

9:25 am - I am going to start. I really don't have anything to discuss with my prof. I may talk about my meeting with the postdoc, about some references that I search and his has them, and also a resume that I should prepare for site. totally empty handed :)

10:50 am - Damn it, I just finished the resume, all the time spending time for translating 3 paragraph to french. I am gonna take a break, I gave it to a friend to check it.

12:45 pm - I have meeting in 15 min :D , I really like him for his perseverance! for these meetings. I wasted some time from last post, prepared my stuff, finalized the resume, checked the simulation once more to see if it works and it didn't. will have lunch after meeting. I am so hungry.

1-1:30 pm - meeting, god bless me, he asked for my proposal time schedual, which chapter when and it should be finished(writing, correction, everything by end of september + I should be ready for exam at that time, the exam is not directly related to my project, god please help me!

1:30 - 3 pm : had lunch, talked with my colleague about the exam and other stuff, had a phone call

3-4:00 pm - went to see a friend who has been just back from Iran, went to her office

4-4:30 pm - Went to see another prof asking about the simulation, it seems I was following the correct path but the article's data are not very good, so I am gonna try it with another set of data, maybe it works this time.

4:50 pm - I am back to office, am very tired, I should plan my proposal time schedule, I will go for a coffee with another friend at 6, could I finish on time? could I pass my exam well? could I handle the proposal well? my parents will be here in two weeks and they stay for 3 weeks. so I can not count on June, I am behind the schedule, what happens if I miss one month?!

5:30 pm - I couldn't concentrate. I feel a bit pain in my foot and it has inflammation again. I want to take off my shoes. I am leaving to see my friend and hopefully go home soon to rest.

8:45 am - Morning :) well I was at school at 7:45 and I spent an hour having a coffee, checking my emails and reading the news.

11:00 am - I worked on simulation and I didn't get result. it doesn't run and gives me error all the time, so I am going to stop, I sent an email to Geo-slope support, with my file and the error files attached and ask them for help. I will take a break and be back to reading.

12:00 pm- Well I had a break, had a phone call, did the gooder thing, had some documents printed, and that is all. why did I take one hour break?! why?! I am very hungry but I should wait for my colleague and I have no idea where the hell is he. I am going to read till he arrives and then go for lunch.

12:30 pm- I read for 30 min, it is just for covering the wasted one hour. I am going for lunch, the guy texted me to say he will be late.

2:50 pm - I came back from lunch at 1:30, I started reading a report/paper. it is very hot here and the weather doesn't circulate. I am going to the 4th floor room to study there. I have ankle inflammation in both feet since 2 days ago. last night I put them at a higher level compare to my head during sleep and it was better in the morning, now they are here again :(

5:20 pm - I read and read. it is not bad, but I am a bit stressed about tomorrows meeting. I don't know what to say, well he just want me to talk about what I have done and maybe discuss about the problems. the simulation is not ready (it was just a test) and I have not read enough for a discussion. I really hate that I go there every week empty handed. by the way when you are supposed to read for your exam and to write for your proposal what is the point of every week meetings? I guess I asked it before! I am going home

almost 6 hours....very bad for me

11:20 pm - I stopped by my brother/sister in law office before going home and found them leaving for dinner with a plan of coming back for studying. I joined them. after dinner and a coffee, I started from 8:15 till now, reading and dealing with simulation. the support guy answered my email, he suggested that I upgrade the version, which is not possible I guess, and mentioned an error in my initial boundary condition, I corrected that but still can not simulate the rainfall/ infiltration. I will look at it tomorrow, I am so tired. leaving office for home and my bed.

9:30-10:15 am - reading some documents about slope stability

10:15-10:45 am - a rendez-vous! with the postdoc to ask some question about his work, data and simulation.

11:15 am _ I don't have my laptop with me today, so came in to Labo to work here.

12:30 pm- I went through documents again, reading them. Had a phone call, surf the net and am not happy about my morning work. I am going to lunch.

1:15-2:30 pm - Reading the document, they are finished.

2:30- 3:15 pm - Having a coffee, talking on the phone, checking my emails and surfing the net!

5:30 pm - I worked on the simulation, the step 1 worked! (it was a very stupid mistake!) but still not the result that I want. I did some searching, found some papers that may be of interest. I am leaving now and promise to work when I get home. lets see!

11:48 pm - Well I worked, not as much as expected. I worked on the simulation, I corrected some errors that hopefully let me to correct results, I was trying to run it, I connected to Ecole, but it gives me an error which I have no idea about it. totally hopeless, I am going to check it tomorrow to see either it is from VPN, or the simulation!

9:15 am - I got up early today to have a blood test. I am pissed off just like Saturday morning. I don't know what is the point of having insurance card while everyone charge you for blood test. I should look for another place. I am going to start working.

11:30 am - working on the simulation. I am stocked in a part.I had like 20 min of wasting!

1:00 pm - Still working on simulation. no progress. I had lunch

2:30 pm - I stopped working on simulation, I know the step 2-10 but step 1 is missing, I asked my colleague who is expert in Seep/w if he could help me, he had no idea too. I will study the "soil mechanics..." for few hours.

3:45 pm - I have no idea what did I do in last 75 min. I worked abit on the simulation and talked on the phone and chat with a colleague, just lost the time

5:45 pm - I read only 1/4 of the chapter, the F.chapter is mostly mathematics, I will be dead by the end of it. Today, I couldn't handle wearing my glasses, I feel sick in my stomach and I feel pain in my eyes and have headache too! I am going home and I HAVE to work tonight. I have a meeting on Thursday :(

11:30 pm - I got home, rest for a while, went for a walk, prepared something for dinner, watched CSI, surf the net, took a shower and not even a single word of studying. I have lot of stress, too many works, if it was only one thing maybe I could manage it better, now I should work on different stuffs, though they are related but I couldn't do few hours of each everyday, and if I do each like 2-3 days a week, it may last only for a short time , then I forget what I was supposed to do. I can not focus even for 15 min, I don't feel fresh at all, I forget things easily and I feel horrible. Besides I do have lot of grammar/dictation errors here!

9:45 am - My day is about to begin.

1:30 pm - I started chapter 7, with minimum focous though, as I had to read each paragraph for seversal times. I read till 12:30 then had lunch, now am back to work. I am so tired of my life style.

4:00 pm - Chapter 7 is finished, but I really dont have any idea how many hours I spent, as I was struggeling with my mind all the time. I have some friends for dinner, the good news is I did most of the cooking last night, and the only bad news is that I dont work as I should.

11:45 am - I slept late last night, my cell didn't wake me up, I got at school late, and I have done nothing but reading gooder. I feel tired, I skipped the morning class, I should attend a presentation at 3, I am going home at 6, and I am not sure if I work like a human today but I will try my best.

12:30 pm - Guess what? I had two phone calls from Iran, so nothing has been done. I am going to lunch

4:15 pm - I am just back from the presentation. before going there I just read some pages from "Essentials of soil mechanics and foundations", not a productive day at all. I may go home soon.

6:30 pm - I had a long day, it was the "Congrès de l’Acfas" from 9 to 5. I have no idea how I handeled 16 presentation in french and non of them related to my work! But I had to be there as my Prof told me to do so. I know it sounds ridiculous that after 3 years I still don't understand french! I do believe that here is not a good place for learning languages. my English has become worse, as in school courses and people are francophone and they know English as second lang (some don't know at all), but I do my stuff, reading, writing in English and outside, people are switching all the time. and I don't talk much with my colleague as everyone is working all day. I should find a way though, it is so disappointing.

12:00 pm - I had a morning class which is finished now. I got my mark, it was a B. The point is the exam was not very bad compare to others, but the assignments were. and I keep this right for myself to blame my colleague for that. We were suppose to do that together and his didn't start any of them until the last day. He was just suppose to do the writing parts, I did all the simulation and graphs and he was doing the rest, having a corrected assignment in his hand from previous session. here is the result, I wish I had done it all by myself.

2:30 pm - I am back to office. I was not in the mood of working. I am going to start.

5:15 pm - I was working with Slope/w on and off (it was mostly off!). The days with classes is FU for me. I don't know why! I should leave in few min as I am going to see a friend. I will try to work when I get home. lets see. I need to be more organized. I really need that.

9:10 am - I was planning to start earlier :( I have a weekly meeting with my Prof, I was thinking to do some simulation for him, nothing yet. I hope to prepare something for this afternoon. it is good that he wants to see me every week, but when I have not started my project, what is the point?!
I did not have a good day yesterday, emotionally.

12:00 pm - I worked on a simulation till last post, with a 30 min break. The point is I have a problem in simulating the initial condition and damn I can not get an answer. I have a meeting at 3, I am going for lunch.

1:00 pm - I am back to work.

3:20 pm - The meeting is over, I really like to know what does he think about me :) . I worked since last post with a waste of like 15 min. I want to take a break for a tea or coffee.

5:20 pm - I didn't work much, just wrote my last two meeting reports and the rest was digging in gooder! I may go home and work later.

11:10 pm - Well as you may guess I did nothing. I came home and went for a walk/run for about an hour, came home, had dinner and cooked tomorrow's lunch, watched TV and internet, internet, internt...

11:24 pm - I went to Ecole at around 10 am, and was there till 2:30 pm, I worked for about 3h30 :)

10:15 am - I am so bored these days and want to do nothing. Not even excited about having my parents in less than a month. I am going to strat working.

12:30 pm - I wasted about 40 min and the rest I worked. I am so sad today.

1:30 pm - I am back to work.

2:45 pm - I wasted 15 min, the rest I went through the manual, it is almost 400 pages and I have just looked at 130 pages, I am not going to real all but I have to look otherwise I have no idea. I am so sleepy, maybe drink some tea. I feel I am stupid, I don't learn anything deeply. I just read them.

5:00 pm - I worked from 3:15 till now. with 15-20 min wasting time. I am page 160, too behind. I am going home in few min, I am going to yoga.

1:00 am- I finished page 200th

11:00 am - I went to the class, but stayed only for first part, I should check "plan d'etude" before I go. the session was not related to my work. I skipped the class at 10, came to my office and did nothing till now! I am going to start.

12:00 pm - I continued with software manual, I should have more speed. I am going for lunch.

3:00 pm - I studied from 1:30 to 3. not good, not bad. I went to see the Prof about the exam, he was not there, I am back to office to work.

3:50 pm - I have done nothing since last post. God, what is going on with me? I was checking my gooder, I had a chat on the phone and am not interested to work at all.

6:00 pm - From last post till now, I studied for 1h30 more or less. I saw the Prof for the exam, me and my colleague actually, he said he has not corrected them (liar!), maybe tomorrow. that means he doesn't like us do something to gain better mark. I hope he doesn't fail me. I am having a panic attack again, that I don't have enough knowledge and they will reject me for proposal and the comprehensive exam. I am going home to watch my faviourate TV series, Vampire diaries, yep that is right :D

9:25 am- I am home. I will start in few min.

11:30 am - I worked for about one hour and half. I am leaving home to my brothers place, they are arriving from vacation and the key is with me. I may not be able to study for few hours.

4:00 pm - I am in Cafe. I gave the key, we had tea and chat. It seems they had great fun in Italy. thanks god at least someone is happy :) I am going back to work.

5:30 pm - I think I should work with timer from tomorrow! in last 1h30 min, I studied abit, chat with a friend, had a coffee, watched some clips and the people in the street. God please kill me!

7:00 pm - well I studied for at least 1h15. I am reading the software manual, the software is easy to use and not a big deal, the problem is behind the scene. how to prepare input data, how to consider the boundary conditions and so on. I am going home, it is becoming crowded here and the weather is great and when I see happy people walking around I feel miserable! I studied less than 4 hours today, I should work tonight and I have a course at 9 am tomorrow :(

12:00 am: I worked like 1h30 from 7 till now. I am going to sleep to get up early tomorrow. I have weekly meeting with my Prof on Monday and the stresses are just around the corner!

2:00 pm- I am auditing a course this summer, today was the first session, from 9-12 , I had lunch and want to start something. I feel so tired, no idea why, I am thinking about going home. I don't have my laptop with me, so maybe go home, take it and go to cafe, I don't know. I am so confused.

3:00 pm - I went through all the stuff that I should read/write/simulate with their help! I afraid to have a plan as I am sure I wont follow that. I decided to start with Geoslope-Slope manual. I will go home soon and work from there.

6:00 pm - I worked for 2 hours. I just got home and I am dead tired,why? god knows! I think I am gonna right to bed and sleep. I cant even keep my eyes open :(

9:00 pm - I slept for almost 2 hours.

12:10 pm- I was at school from 9, doing some other stuff than studying, including paying tuition fees! I am thinking about where to start, I need a plan for what I should do in summer.I will start after lunch.

2:40 pm - I am fucked up today, I have not started yet, lost between papers, documents and books which should be read. I had to install a software which I did. It is raining, the office is crowded and I am not in the mood.

4:00 pm - it hasn't been a day so far! I am going home, I edit some of my references in Endnote, I am going for a yoga session at 7. I am comfortable here for studying, tomorrow I may go to library. lets see if I can study at home before I go for yoga.

6:40 pm- I was unbelievable today! after weekend and doing nothing, today I am disappointed with myself. I was supposed to work today! I am going to yoga in 20 min, lets see if I work when I come back, shame on you Maryam.

It is 12:07 pm, I did nothing today, I got the day off, after that horrible exam I needed to be relax! anyway I am not sure if I work during weekend, maybe study for few hours but I don't want to push myself. I am still depressed about the exam and I really believe I am stupid!

1:00 pm, I feel awful, it was terrible for me. Last term I had a course with the same guy and I got 8.5 from 20 in final, this term I dont even get 8.5. I want to die, now I am sure I am stupid, eveyone was telling "wow, the exam was more easier than we thought". what should I do? I may fail it, it was 40% and from 60% of assignement I have no idea. he didnt give the results. I couldnt even undrestand what is he asking, god damn this french language. I have a meeting with my prof at 3. why am I doing pHd?

4:30 pm - I saw my Prof. That was as usual, the next meeting is 10 of May and I really have to work. I also went to see the other Prof for my exam, I got 9.5/11 from the assignements which is fine, but the point is I got ?/9, my guess is 2 or 3, what a shame, I guess I get a C :( . I also registered for convocation (for master) which is 12 of June. I totally forgot to register fo the conference, should do it today. I am dead tired and depressed. I guess I take the rest of the day off.

9:45 am - Another day, I am starting in few seconds

11:20 am - Well it is not going well, I start to become stressed. This is always the problems, I read mostly all the stuff, the others read only the parts that is coming in the exam, as if they know, and I get the worset mark, that is so simple!

7:45 pm - I studied till 12:30, then went for lunch and another exam session. I was off till 4, I started studing again at 4:30 till 7:15, I had dinner and now am back to studying. it is not finished and I will do my best though I know I will regret it tomorrow!

9:00 pm- I am still studing, my collegue is here too, well I rather to study alone but I promised him we would do the assignement togeather, eveything is very slow, he looks like an innocent guy who knows nothing! even the problems he solved! I wanna kill myself

10:00 pm- it is not finished yet, I may go to Cafe, to get closer to home :)

10:00 am, I am so lazy today, it is snowing like benz! I am home, I should start studying.

12:30, I am leaving for school, I wasted 30 min since then, the rest I studied but I am behind, I need to finish all today so tomorrow I can have a look at all. It is winter here! I should go to another exam, so off till 4,

5:30 , the exam is over, I had my lunch and a coffee, looking for the prof. to ask a question but he was not there. I am going to start studyin in few min, and it is still snowing :(

7:15, Still in labo and studying, I have no idea how is the weather outside, I want to take a break

8:30 pm, Nothing is finished, neither the documents nor the assignments, I am leaving ecole to eat something and study the rest in Cafe. I have a long night

12:50 pm, I got home few min ago, I studied from 8:45 to 12:30, I am really fucked up, I still have 2-3 papers to read+the big frog (few documents in french)+ 5 more assignments to read+ review some of the old stuff, I am wondering what have I done in last few days?!!

9:20 am, I am going to start

10:55 I am done with one paper, for my exam I am supposed to read bunch of papers, though not much is left, I will take a short break!

11:20 am, supposed to be a short one :D , I am back to work

12:25 , it is not finished yet but I am leaving for lunch, I have to be at the exam session at 1, for "surveillance", will be there till 4.

5:00 pm, the exam is over, I had some discussion with my colleague about the exam and came to Cafe to start studying :( the weather is perfect and I hate the exams

8:00 pm, I am fucked up, in last 3 hours, 20 min in gooder, 20 min on phone and just one paper is read, I am tired and sleepy, still in Cafe.

11:35 pm, I didn't do anything since 8!

Hello NoonJim :D
I really do hope it works, I have my comprehensive exam and proposal defense somewhere in October, I have to get ready for both, the proposal includes writing around 100 pages of lit-review and 20 pages of proposal, looks like writing a master thesis :( beside I should work with a new software(two actually) and do some simulation for the proposal. I also have an exam on Thursday. That is all for now :) so , all I have to do is reading, reading, reading and writing!
I will start reports from tomorrow.